Class 12 Recap

So...this was it. Presentations. I was fairly impressed with what I saw. I kind of wish more people had stepped outside their comfort zones but I cannot complain. I was very impressed by the video regarding "Tomorrow is Never Guaranteed". That really stood out to me. And I was impressed by some of the attempts made as well, namely "The Red Button Warhead". All in all, excellent class and there was finally some dialogue going back and forth as well as critique between students. Something I wish there had been more of but hey, we learned stuff. And that's the important thing.

Class 11 recap

Well, on the one hand there's not much for me to say on this. I did watch a few funny movies but nothing about them seemed to stick. I did however dream about this class however and that we had Guest Lecturers from former classes come in, an interesting event to say the least. I dreamed that Matt Powers also held a class where Beth came in as a guest lecturer at his own class as well. The projects done with a video oriented stop-motion classroom group one done in class where the result looked like something from a Robot Chicken episode and it was extremely entertaining and amusing. There were many details to describe but I'll save those for anyone interested in knowing more. Over and out.

BINGO TIEM

Okay so, I have nailed down the project that has inspired my interest.

http://n385chrismckee.blogspot.com/2010/05/inspiration-palooza.html

Now for questions and to send these off. Lots of material to work with for this one.

Class 9 recap

So I wasn't in class today due to slicing up my right ring finger at work. That was fun. But I will take a moment to try and recap the process I went through in the last assignment and why it wasn't posted.

Basically, I tried to look for a deeply personal way to construct and express the concepts of life and death and failed to do so. The reason? I could have easily done this assignment. I could have crafted an abstract representation of Life & Death via illustration or done another thought exercise. I did not however. I wanted to try and make something "authentic and run with a concept or project that was more "me". I tried to do so tackling such a large concept and failed to make it personal. I just didn't have the time to really break it down from the scale I imagine. So for that, I accept my failures and find it more suitable to right them down here.

Class 8 Recap

Well today we participated in an interesting creative exercise. It was a bit...mundane though. I think the thought behind it was good but the execution not so much.

Going around and finding ordinary objects to try and make something artsy and unique didn't feel that grand to be honest. Had it we looked in a place that was outside my familiarity for such objects I might have been more excited but as it where I didn't find myself feeling particularly driven or passionate about this exercise. Hopefully the outcome of this latest project will be interesting.

DAT FEELING

Last class was hella crazy. It put me on edge and in a predatory state of mind I haven't experienced for a long while. We got to play with the ideas of reality and fear and that was something I have yet to experience in a classroom setting. Finally, I got a chance to really reach out with my senses in ways I haven't done very often.

All in all it was exhilarating and felt good. We then moved to the walkway and began doing an exercise to really feel everything around us. And honestly, I felt overwhelmingly content. The hot, dry heat reminded me of Las Vegas and the vibrations, sounds, heated metal, and cirrus clouds high above made me feel as if I was almost there. It was an intense moment of reverie and peace and I feel motivated by it more then anything else.

Dat Reality

"What is real? How do you define real? If you're talking about what you can hear, what you can smell, taste and feel, then real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain." - Morpheus (The Matrix, 1999)

This sums up my vision of reality. It is subjective. I could get a brain tumor that effects my ability to see or interpret other signals flowing from my brain instantly my reality would be different. I am diagnosed with higher functioning Autism, something that makes me view reality in a somewhat different manner then most people. The various sensory outputs of my brain make up what is real to me. And if its not "real"? Then so be it. I'm prepared to accept alternate realities if they make themselves known to me.

As for fears, I have a few.

I have a fear of failure. This is a far reaching fear that covers many different facets but ultimately boils down to one thing: being trapped here in Indiana.

I have lived elsewhere and have been shown what it is to be successful and comfortable in a place brimming with culture, people in my age group, and in a climate that isn't vitriolic for me at certain times of the year. To be trapped here in Indiana would be a creative and emotional jail sentence for me and it is something I will not abide by.

I have fought the advances of depression and hopelessness during my time here. Ever since I returned to Indiana from Las Vegas, I have not been able to view my former home in the same light as before. I didn't know what it was to have free cash to spend on material things, to be in climate that was warm year round, and to be surrounded by people that shared the same passions I did. Before I only knew of what it was to live a lower middle-class existence in a place where winter was the norm and I was just different. Moving out there for that period of time fundamentally changed me. And I promised myself I would come back to the West Coast.

To fail now and have my dreams of being there once more be distant would be a crushing blow. I honestly do not even think of what I would do if I did fail to move out there. But it is a very real fear and one that could happen. And its why I am working so hard now to make sure that it does not happen.

I have a few ideas on how to visualize this but first I wanted to spit this out on paper so to speak. Its not something I've spoken of much. Stay tuned for more.